Hazel White
Singer / Songwriter / Poet

 

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My thoughts in Words

 

My Drinking Days are Done.
November 09

In April 2006 just before launching my C.D. I gave up the Drink, this was meant to be a short term thing, I was fully intending to have a drink or two after performing at the launch, well that was the idea.
The day came and it was great fun and everyone seemed to enjoy it including me which was a surprise, it was at this point that I realized I really did not want to drink alcohol again. I found that I had not felt so good in years.

I suppose to be honest I had been a regular drinker from a very early age with a glass of cider or wine not just at Christmas or on special occasions. There was much to cope with, my mother always being ill, having a succession of nervous breakdowns from my seventh year, although it was before this that life became very unhappy.
It is fair to say that I have struggled through life with mood swings and bad memories, depression etc.
There are thousands of my generation, post war babies, whose fathers had experienced the terror of war and whose mothers did their best. Some of these got post natal depression on top of everything else which if not treated promptly can effect one's entire life.

There comes a time when you have to face your "demons" and accept and acknowledge what has gone before and forgive if you can. Look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with yourself because if you cannot, no one else can. As for Alcohol, does it help? Well not for me, it just muddies it all.

The hardest thing about this decision is that some friends cannot accept it
And constantly press me to have "just one".... if only!

 

Yoga for Life.

Yoga has been a part of my life since 1975, this was nearly a year after having my left patella [knee cap] removed and finding it very difficult to regain any sort of physical fitness that I started going to evening classes.

Our Yoga teacher was a lady of mature years and she had “found” Yoga in her mid fifties when as she put it she was “ceasing up” now in her mid seventies with the physical condition and flexibility that both amazed and inspired me. The emphasis she installed into us all was that Yoga was not a competitive recreation, that the most important thing to remember is that only do what feels comfortable [no extreme straining to achieve positions] the benefits of complete breathing, meditation and eventually contemplation are quite exhilarating.

From the age of eleven years, thanks’ to a very bossy x-wren P.T. teacher when I was bullied into attempting to volt a four foot horse and me just four foot ten inches tall, all ten stone of me crashing to the ground when apparently it was discovered when the surgeon jovially commented after removing my knee cap in bits “I didn’t know that you had played rugby” was crushed at that early age. This single event has had a profound effect on my ability to keep myself fit and has been a constant recurring source of weakness and pain ever since that fateful day[Ms Hurst] who if still alive must be well in her nineties by now. As for being ten stone at eleven years well that’s another story and not one to tell now or in the foreseeable future.


With two operations since, the last one in 1995 and thanks’ to the skill of my surgeon when he repaired the post-cruciate tendon, which I had managed to sever whilst haymaking ten plus years earlier I can now walk normally and with only a few exceptions I have kept my promise to him, not to run or dance anything other than a smooch [the chance would be a fine thing] I consider myself to be very lucky to been able to live a relatively “normal” life no more ceili’s for me giving up dancing a small price to pay, having had to have a fireman’s “chair” carry out of a third floor dance hall as a result of doing the twist, prior to 1995.


Being able to walk is far more important than you realize when every single step is unpredictable as to if you will be flung to the ground as the knee dislocates not an experience I would wish on anyone.


Although I have strayed away from making the effort to practise my
Yoga routine from time to time over the years the longest break six years came to an end on fourth of August last year, when I knew I just had to get a grip and get back to what keeps me motivated into getting myself as fit as I possibly can at my time of life!
So back to my good old faithful book of Richard Hittleman’s Yoga 28 day exercise plan,
a leaving present from my work colleagues when I joined my husband on the buildings as a chippies mate great fun and getting out of the office environment was very rewarding learning new skills and much less stressful.

I have never managed to complete all the postures in the book not even in my twenties, I do what I can and that is all that matters. The general improvement both physical and mental is worth every minute of the 40 minutes a day, well almost every day!

My dear friend Joany who lives in Boscastle Cornwall, twenty years my senior still practises Yoga and often receives compliments on how well she looks for her age [you are so lucky] as she retorts back, luck has nothing to do with it “ its dammed hard work Darling .”
Well in twenty years time if I am still in the land of the living perhaps I will be saying the same.